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1
Separate the egg yolks from the egg whites.
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2
Boil potatoes in unsalted boiling water about 15-20 minutes or until cooked through, but not so soft they fall apart when a fork is inserted.
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3
Immediately drain and gently run cold water over the potatoes in a colander (do not use a mesh sieve, you'll get riced potatoes) to stop them from continuing to cook.
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4
Let the potatoes sit in the colander to drain, and drain well (if you do that thing where you let the colander go into free fall and stop it abruptly at the bottom, you'll end up with 1/2 potato cubes and 1/2 mashed potatoes).
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5
Proceed with the next steps when drained.
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6
Gently turn 1/2 the potatoes into the bowl.
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7
Add 1/2 the chopped onion and 1/2 the chopped celery.
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8
Next, using a long-tined fork, mash 3 eggs' worth of egg whites, one half at a time, into the palm of your hand until the consistency of the egg white resembles bread crumbs.
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9
Add them to the potato mixture.
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10
Repeat this step for the egg yolks until the consistency is similar to that of clay.
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11
Don't try to do them together, it's too frustrating.
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12
Add the yolks to the potato mixture.
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13
Repeat the layers of potato, onion, celery, and eggs.
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14
Spoon one cup of the mayonnaise evenly over the top.
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15
Using your hands, gently dig down the side of the bowl to the bottom, and equally gently, lift and fold the contents of the bottom of the bowl on top.
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16
Turn the bowl 1/4 turn and repeat.
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17
Do this for 2 revolutions.
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18
If the salad does not have a creamy yellow consistency (the egg yolks should dissolve into the mayonnaise to create this color), add 1/2 cup of mayonnaise at a time and repeat the lifting and folding process until it does.
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19
Depending on how savory you want the salad to be, add the pickle juice in moderation (about 1/4 cup at a time), enough so that the salad has an almost custard-like consistency, being careful not to add too much or you will make the salad runny.
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20
After each addition, again repeat the lifting and folding process (you may need to rinse your hands between stages, or you may just choose to eat whatever has accumulated on your hands, and THEN rinse them).
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21
You should have a salad with a sauce that coheres well to the vegetables but is not mayonnaise-y, and not very runny.
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22
Sprinkle paprika generously over the top, cover, and store in the refrigerator.
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23
Serve chilled and garnish with fresh sprigs of parsley, if desired.
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24
This salad will keep about a week if you don't leave it out for extended periods of time, assuming it lasts that long.
