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["Peel & chop the garlic (this a a great thing for guests who want to help out)", "Place butter, lemon zest, Aleppo pepper, fennel pollen and garlic in a saucepan over very very very low heat...and let it melt slowly and infuse itself.", "When you are ready to serve stir in the parsley and give each guest a shallow bowl full of butter for dipping.", "If you want to do this ahead- make a compound butter with everything but the parsley and heat it when it's time.", "Wash the seaweed under cold water- get rid of all the sand and any errant sea creatures, unless you are feeling adventurous and want to eat them.", "De-beard the mussels if necessary, scrub them and the clams with a clean towel under cold water, discard any broken shells- if you see an open one flick it with your finger, if it's alive it'll close up, if not toss it.
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-IF you are using steamers give them a long soak (1 hour) and a vigorous scrub- those beyotches hold tons of mud.", "Get the biggest pot you can find that has a lid (if there's no lid big enough just use a sheet pan)", "Layer seaweed on the bottom, then add your aromatics (fennel, garlic, thyme, peppercorns)", "Place potatoes on top of that, add enough just water to cover + salt", "Bring to a simmer over medium heat- Add the vermouth then add the Lobsters (say goodbye and don't forget to thank them before you plunge them into the water of death)", "After about 5 minutes add the clams, mussels, corn & kielbasa-
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COVER TIGHTLY as possible, you may need to weigh it down with a brick or a cast iron pan ,if you are in fact using a sheet pan.", "You want try to keep this steaming but without boiling over in anyway-- (it'a tricky in a rental kitchen - but 1 person should be the pot watcher) It should cook for another 10-12 minutes - maybe more depending on the air flow in your pot.. Give a good shake a few times. Check and see if the clams opened- when they are open, and reach in with some tongs and pull on one of the tiny lobster legs, it should pull free easily)", "Drain out the excess liquid- hold back about 2 cups- set that in a bowl/or pitcher at the table( I pour a little into my melted butter) -", "lay the seaweed in the bottom of a giant platter-- then arrange everything else on top, and toss the lemon quarters on top.", "To Serve-- cover your entire dining room table with newspapers- and set out at least two bowls for shells (one for lobster shells to save) - Other nice things to have are good bread, or fresh biscuits- you could make a salad but only if you do it afterwards like a little salad and a little cheese after all the shells and newspapers are put away. Save the greens for either before or after the inevitable carnage.
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Make sure you have lots of napkins maybe a roll of paper towels standing by this is not a dinner for nice linens or really even plates, actually you may want to change into an old T-shirt. You'll do well with lots cold beer and this is such a great sparkling wine meal.
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I feel like it also needs loud happy music, like some 50's surf rock or reggae. Los Straitjackets would be perfect, especially on vinyl.", "This is ALOT of food-- you could probably feed 6 or 8 if you went halfsies on the lobsters- But I say have everynone eat as much as they want then the next morning turn the left over potatoes, fennel & sausage into hash fro breakfast with some poached eggs , and toss the clams and mussels in an herby vinaigrette (maybe add a few slivers of raw scallop or shrimp- a few white beans, raw fennel) for a little afternoon snack along with corn pancakes topped with lobster salad with fresh tarragon & chives- save the butter to bolster the lobster stock you'll make after everyone goes home."]
