Homemade Soap

1. 1

   Strict is my diet.

2. 2

   I must not want.

3. 3

   It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.

4. 4

   It leadeth me past Baskin-Robbins.

5. 5

   It trieth my will power.

6. 6

   It leadeth me in the paths of starvation for my figure's sake.

7. 7

   Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department, I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.

8. 8

   The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.

9. 9

   Before me is a table with celery and lettuce; my day's quota runneth over. Surely calories and weight charts shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in fear of the scales forever.

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