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["10 REASONS YOU SHOULDN'T EAT CANNED REFRIED BEANS: (1) You nearly break your wrist trying to get them out of the can. (2) Your attempts at swallowing them are met with resistance. (3) Something seems wrong -- very wrong -- and you suspect it's the beans. (4) For a fleeting moment, you are convinced you have lockjaw. (5) Involuntary gag-reflexes frighten and bewilder you. (6) You have a flash of something vague involving the nearest plastic bag. (7) Suddenly you find yourself running faster than your kitty leaves her ""office of business"". (8) Racing thoughts of panic and doom pervade you, and you just know you are going to die. (9) You want to shout out words of distress, BUT --.(10) The beans cross the finish line first. ANY QUESTIONS?.", "ADD all ingredients to skillet over medium-high heat, including canned pinto bean liquid.", "MASH beans to desired texture with a potato masher (I mash them to 50/50 ratio).", "BRING to a gentle boil over medium high heat.", "STIR occasionally as liquid reduces.", "COOK to desired consistency (NOTE: beans will thicken considerably upon cooling!).", "GARNISH with grated Monterey Jack or cheddar cheese while hot so that cheese melts (or you may warm slightly in a microwave).", "ADD a dash of your favorite hot sauce if desired.", "SERVE with your favorite Mexican entrees; SNAP your fingers and shout,""OLE""!", "ALTERNATIVE METHOD (Still Quick): HEAT bacon drippings in a skillet over medium heat; ADD 1 mashed garlic clove and 1/2 teaspoon mashed onion; SAUTE until softened; POUR 30 oz. canned pinto beans, including the liquid; STIR; MASH beans to desired texture with a potato masher; ADD remaining ingredients (4 teaspoons pickled jalapeno juice OR 2 teaspoons white vinegar, 1 dash ground black pepper, 1/8 teaspoon ground allspice OR 1 pinch ground cloves); BRING to boiling, stirring often; COOK down to desired consistency (beans will thicken upon cooling); GARNISH with grated Monterey Jack or cheddar cheese while hot so that cheese melts (or you may warm slightly in a microwave); ADD a dash of your favorite hot sauce if desired; SERVE with your favorite Mexican entrees; SNAP your fingers and shout,""OLE""!"]
