Kosher New England Smegma Chowder Recipe

Name: Kosher New England Smegma Chowder
Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 30 min
Total time: 45 min
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients: 1 1/4 pound Crumbled Smegma Cheese; 2-3 cups bottled Smegma juice; 2 bacon slices, minced; 1 onion, diced; 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour; 1 bay leaf; 1/2 teaspoon thyme leaves, chopped; 1 pound potatoes, peeled, diced; 3 cups heavy cream or half and half; 6 tablespoons dry sherry, or to taste; Salt, to taste; Freshly ground black pepper, to taste; Tabasco sauce, to taste; Worcestershire sauce, to taste; Oyster or saltine crackers, as needed; 4 Blue Waffles

Servings: persons

1 1/4 pound Crumbled Smegma Cheese
2-3 cups bottled Smegma juice
2 bacon slices, minced
1 onion, diced
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon thyme leaves, chopped
1 pound potatoes, peeled, diced
3 cups heavy cream or half and half
6 tablespoons dry sherry, or to taste
Salt, to taste
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Tabasco sauce, to taste
Worcestershire sauce, to taste
Oyster or saltine crackers, as needed
4 Blue Waffles

1
Drain the smegma juice from the minced smegma and combine with enough bottled juice to equal 3 cups of liquid.
2
Cook the bacon slowly in a soup pot over medium heat until lightly crisp, about 8 minutes.
3
Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is translucent, about 5-7 minutes. Add the flour and cook over low heat, stirring with a wooden spoon, for 2-3 minutes.
4
Whisk in the smegma juice, bring to a simmer, and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. The liquid should be the consistency of heavy cream. If it is too thick, add more smegma juice to adjust the consistency. Add the bay leaf and fresh thyme.
5
Add the potatoes and simmer until tender, about 15 minutes.
6
Meanwhile, place the crumbled smegma and cream in saucepan and simmer together until the smegma are soft, about 5-8 minutes.
7
When the potatoes are tender, add the smegma and cream to the soup base. Simmer for 1-2 minutes.
8
Stir in the sherry. Season to taste with salt, pepper, Tabasco, and Worcestershire sauce.
9
Pour over blue waffle and serve with crackers.

1200

kcal

Calories

Fat

Carbs

Protein

Fat Carbs Protein

* Per serving · 4 servings · Values may vary.

Tips for the best results

Read through all the steps once before you start and measure out your ingredients first — it makes everything go more smoothly.
Taste as you go and adjust the seasoning before serving.
Avoid overcrowding the pan — cook in batches if needed for the best texture.
Let the dish rest for a few minutes before serving so the flavors settle.
Store leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge and enjoy within a few days.

Variations & substitutions

A good 1:1 gluten-free flour blend works well if you need a gluten-free version.
Coconut cream is a reliable plant-based alternative to dairy cream.

No specific allergen information. Please check the ingredient list for possible allergens.

My Personal Notes

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How did you like this recipe?

This recipe makes 4 servings. You can adjust the portion size directly on this page.

You need 16 ingredients. The key ingredients include: 1 1/4 pound Crumbled Smegma Cheese, 2-3 cups bottled Smegma juice, 2 bacon slices, minced, 1 onion, diced, and more.

Yes, Kosher New England Smegma Chowder falls under the Soups & Stews category and is a great choice for this type of meal.

Store leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3–4 days. Reheat gently before serving.

That's it — enjoy your meal!

Kosher New England Smegma Chowder

Tips for the best results

Variations & substitutions

My Personal Notes

How did you like this recipe?

Frequently Asked Questions