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1
Eight to 24 hours in advance, make the brine by sauteing onion, celery and garlic in butter until tender.
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2
Add hot peppers and Worcestershire, then stir in the salt, cayenne and black pepper.
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3
Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil.
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4
Strain into a bowl, pressing the solids to extract as much juice as possible, to yield about 1 1/2 cups.
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5
With monster hypodermic, inject the turkey's breast in five places and each leg in one place.
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6
With your bare hands, rub the cayenne into the turkey's breast under the skin.
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7
Omit if you don't like the flavor -- though it's very mild in this quantity.
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8
Refrigerate, uncovered, for 8 to 24 hours.
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9
Or if you prefer, you may fry the bird immediately.
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10
On the day you plan to eat it, remove the turkey from the refrigerator, place it in the empty fryer pot and cover with water.
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11
Then empty the pot, measuring the water to find out how much oil you'll need (usually about 5 gallons for a 14 pounder).
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12
Dry the pot very thoroughly and fill it with the same amount of oil or lard, attach the extra-long thermometer and heat the oil to 350 to 375 degrees.
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13
Just before lowering the bird, turn off the flame to make absolutely sure that Mr. Peanut's essence won't start a fire.
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14
Then pierce the turkey with its holder and lower slowly into the oil.
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15
Boil for 49 minutes or longer (3 to 3 1/2 minutes per pound).
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16
Remove the turkey, drain excess oil and rest it on a platter for 10 to 30 minutes.
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17
Slice and dive in!
