1
["Select the best man you", "can", "find, and brush him carefully to rid him of all indifference.", "Be careful not to beat him as you would an egg,", "for beating will make him tough and apt to froth at the", "mouth.", "Lift", "him", "gently", "into", "the home preserving kettle, and tie", "him with strong bonds of affection which are not easily broken.", "Do not sear him with sarcasm, as that causes spitting", "and", "sputtering, which", "may", "ultimately result in spontaneous", "combustion.", "Scramble when difficulties arise.", "Do not soak him", "in liquor either as excessive alcohol will make him mushy and", "spongy", "with your friends, and stewed husbands", "have never been popular.", "It", "is", "best", "to", "let him simmer tenderly at will;", "to blend tactfully with dressing and seasonings.", "Stuff him one", "hour", "before", "taking out or before asking a favor of him.", "A little caress will often add to his tenderness.", "Flavor him with the oil of happiness, an ounce of understanding, and bushel of laughter and fun.", "Should he seem weak or troubled with", "feminine infatuation, smother him with onions and garlic, and treble your charms."]
