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The Sauce : okay people.
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This will be your longest step of this miraculous journey but I assure you that half ass-ing it will only be to your detriment.
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Here we go!
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Heat a very large, very deep skillet at medium high.
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Add the half prepared onions, 1 bulb garlic (should be about 5 to 10 cloves of garlic per bulb), tomatoes and mushrooms to pan.
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Add tomato paste and 1 tbsp salt.
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Stir together well.
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Moving on to your FRESH herbs: take each bunch and cut into two parts.
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Chop finely.
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Add one half of each bunch into your sauce and stir.
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Save the rest for later.
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Allow your sauce to come to a low boil then turn down to low (if your stove range is number based, I suggest a 2).
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DO NOT COVER.
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Expect some sauce bubbles to decorate your stove top.
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Get over it.
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Next I want you to netflix binge for the next 1 1/2 hours or so while getting up to stir occasionally.
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Everything will cook down and thicken and you will be a better person for finishing Orange is the New Black.
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Sauce should be good.
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Turn off stove refrigerate overnite.
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You worked hard.
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Pat yourself on the back, handsome.
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The Meats: cook your bacon until about halfway done, place on paper towels to cool.
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My double jack and coke enabled me to be so bold as to sprinkle brown sugar on mine while cooking.
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It was awesome and I highly suggest it.
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After cooling rip (or cut) into strip length wise.
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In a large bowl combine the remaining onion, garlic, salt and herbs.
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Also add the egg, mustard, hamburger meat and Italian sausage.
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Crumble your white bread and add as well.
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Mix together with your hands.
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Congratulations.
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You've made a huge meatgasm and there is no going back.
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The Assembly: alright kiddos you're almost there.
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Take your huge bowl of delicious meat tar tare and roll into small balls.
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About the size of golf balls.
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Now take your individual bacon strip and wrap it around each ball, gently pressing in on the sides, then gently flatten the top so it will all stay together.
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This will take finesse but I have every confidence in you.
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You are very pretty.
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Place on cookie sheet, wrap foil over and bake at 375 for approximately 40 minutes.
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Take out of oven and uncover.
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In a 13x9 glass dish, pour your tomato sauce.
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Carefully place each wrapped ball into dish on top of sauce.
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Now at this point, I put a thin slice of FRESH mozzarella on the tops and garnished with an ever so pretentious amount of parsely...but each to their own.
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I rely solely on the compliments of strangers and this seemed to illicit the highest amount.
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Now bake, uncovered for another 10 to 15 minutes or until the cheese is nicely melted.
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This extra time also gives your bacon a chance to crisp.
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Keep an eye out though.
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Don't want to burn the goods.
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Can you believe it?
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You're done!
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And it only took you 12 steps and a day and a half!
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Guess what though?
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You just created something so delicious and pretty to look at it's absurd.
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You will make this again, trust me for all shall bow to your greatness.
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I realize this meal isn't cheap or the best choice for an easily put together family meal, but it is one that will give you the edge.
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And that's power.
