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["Preheat oven to 350 degrees", "Mix all ingredients together except the bacon", "Wash your hands after mixin that mess together(ya don't want meat juice on the beer tab)", "Sit back and contimplate life ( Ok...this is how I roll)", "Stare at the meat mixture until it looks perfect..(I usaully wait 2 or 3 beers)Optional", "ok ..now the hard part..(drink at least 2 more beers)Optional", "Pat out the burgers as big as ya want", "Pop another brewsky", "Wash your hands...Ya don't wanna screw up your huggy with meat juice", "Cut open smokie joes...If you are a real man you will reach in your pocket and pull out your Swiss Army knife.", "Kinda look at them ...some are more suited for feet and and some for heads", "Pick out 4 legs and 2 for the head and tail", "Use kitchen shears or a knife and cut 3 slices in the feet and", "1 slice horizontal for the head and cut a ""V"" out of the tail", "Use your untainted pinky and poke starter holes for all..(for those that can't think...4 legs,a head and a tail..(I refuse to tell ya where)", "Cut the bacon strips in half and lay three on top of the budding turtle..ok more if your are makin them huge..(See ya in the emergency room)", "Take 3 more slices and weave them into those.(those that use more probably are on a first name basis with the nurses at the ER)", "Pick up the heart attack..Oops I mean burger...and wrap the bacon around the sides...exposing legs, head. and tail...and for sick f$%^s..the dick", "You will need a grate over a cookie sheet narrow enough to not allow the smokie joes to fall threw..I used my grate off my smoker and it worked great.Real men improvise.Cook for 25 to 30 minutes, or untill bacon is done.That is completely your call.Pop beer and let the burgers rest, for 5 minutes.Assemble burgers.", "The rest you should have enough sence to handle on your own."]
