The Ploughman’S Bollocks (For Danny Boyle And Sean Connery)

Set up your mise en place by chopping the parsley and slicing your leek very thinly. Avoid the tough green tops, although you can save those for making broth or whatever.

Prep your bread mixture; tear it into pieces and place in a bowl with the milk.

With a sharp knife remove the casings from the bangers. Turn the contents out into a bowl, and using the business end of a wooden spoon mash them up really well.

Chop your parsley to a confetti like state.

Wash your hands thoroughly and work the banger meat, bread and parsley together. This is a hand job. Add the Worcestershire sauce and pimenton (to your own taste) and continue to work it over.

In a cast iron pot or other frying vessel bring your oil up to warp speed, 375F as measured by maybe a candy thermometer.

Shape your meat packages into ping pong ball sized shapes (it is an Olympic sport). They can be held refrigerated.

Set up your fry station: Wondra, beaten egg, bread crumbs.

Once your oil is hot you can roll the bollocks in the Wondra, dip in egg, and the roll again in bread crumbs. Plunge them into the oil, crisp them up, and toss on today's Financial Times or Wall Street Journal.

Don't stop there. Fry your leeks until crispy in the same oil. Scoop and scatter over the bollocks with any remaining parsley.

Serve with cored and sliced apple, a hunk of cheddar, brown bread and chutney if you like that.