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1
Let 3 tubs of tofu come to room temperature.
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2
Squeeze tofu into small bits with your hands, mixing in thyme, sage and onion powder as you squeeze.
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3
This is fun.
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4
Good job for kids.
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5
Wet cheesecloth, wring it out and smoothly line colander with itno wrinkles.
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6
Dump in the crumbled tofu, and press it into sides and bottom of colander, making a bowl within a bowl.
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7
The tofu bowl should be about 1-inch thick and almost reach the top of the colander.
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8
Hunt around, and find a bowl that will fit perfectly inside the tofu bowl.
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9
Gently press it into the colander.
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10
It will make an expressive sound.
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11
Dig through your pantry, and find something heavy (can of peaches?)
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12
to press the bowl into the tofu bowl to help tofu drain.
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13
Tuck corners of cheesecloth over top of tofu to keep edges from drying out.
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14
Stand the colander/cheesecloth/tofu/bowl/weight construction in a dish to catch liquid.
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15
Refrigerate overnight.
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16
Preheat oven to 375F.
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17
Prepare stuffing according to package directions.
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18
Remove weight and bowl from colander.
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19
Fill tofu hollow with stuffing.
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20
Crumble remaining tofu, and use to cover stuffing, pressing flat to edges of colander.
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21
Find a large oven-to-table baking dish.
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22
Place dish over colander.
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23
Hold tightly, invoke the spirit of good cooks, and invert colander so tofu-turkey drops gently onto dish.
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24
Peel off cheesecloth to reveal, uh, half a big, white basketball.
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25
Combine tamari, olive oil and sesame oil in bowl, and baste tofu-turkey with brush.
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26
(Now its a big golden-brown basketball.
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27
Much better.)
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28
Bake 15 minutes.
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29
Baste again.
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30
Reduce oven to 350F, and bake 1 hour, basting as inspired.
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31
To serve, cut once across the middle and then into slabs about 1 & 1/2-inches thick.
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32
The turkeys thank you!