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1
Start by dividing the 8 quarts water evenly between 2 pots.
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2
Add 2 tablespoons salt to each pot, and bring both pots to a rolling boil.
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3
(One is for the lobster, and the other one is for the spaghetti.)
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4
Lobsters live in the sea, and the best lobster youll ever eat will be when you are on a ship or near the shore and the lobster is boiled in seawater.
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5
So, before you add the lobster, salt the water.
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6
When it is as salty as the sea, slide in the live lobster.
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7
You need to cook a lobster for about 5 minutes per pound (455 g), which is about 12 minutes for this lobster.
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8
If you dont want to look at the live lobster as it boils, you are probably someone who likes to have sex with the light off.
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9
Thats okay.
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10
Measure the spaghetti.
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11
To do that, make the size of a quarter with your thumb and index finger; 1 portion of pasta is what fits into that hole.
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12
Measure 2 portions and add them to the second pot of boiling water.
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13
Cook the pasta according to the instructions on the package.
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14
We dont make our own spaghetti, so we dont expect you to, either.
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15
Drain it, then disregard the canons of pasta and go ahead and rinse it under cold running water.
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16
Toss it with the olive oil so it doesnt stick together and keep it at room temperature nearby.
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17
The lobster will be cooked by now.
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18
With your trusty long tongs, take it out of the water and put it in a bowl.
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19
Let it cool down until you can touch it with your hands, then remove the claws and the knuckles.
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20
Crack the claws with a knife or with a cracker, whichever you feel most comfortable using.
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21
Take the tail off the torso and crack it in two.
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22
(See the diagram on page 28 to see how to cut the lobster.)
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23
Everything is still in the shell, and you want to leave it like that.
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24
Put the claws, knuckles, and tail pieces in a bowl and put the bowl aside.
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25
Now you will be left with the torso.
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26
Hack it into 4 or 5 rough chunks with a cleaver.
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27
If thats too dramatic, use a large knife.
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28
Keep them separate from the other pieces.
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29
Next comes the sauce: In a large stockpot, combine the torso pieces, cream, butter, brandy, tarragon, garlic, and the remaining 2 cups water.
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30
Place over medium heat until the mixture starts to bubble.
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31
Reduce the heat to very low and simmer gently for 30 minutes, making sure it doesnt reduce too much.
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32
You need about 1 cup (250 ml) liquid left.
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33
Filter out all the parts, toss them away, and keep just the cream.
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34
You dont want the cream runny; instead, it should nicely coat the back of a spoon.
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35
Season with salt and pepper.
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36
In a large, shallow pan, warm together the lobster cream and the lobster pieces over medium heat.
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37
Add the spaghetti and bacon and twirl all the ingredients around with a wooden spoon for 3 to 4 minutes to heat through.
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38
Garnish with the parsley and serve family style (turn on the TV and start arguing).
