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1
Pick up the potatoes and admire their heft, their pure starchiness.
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2
Then scrub them with a brush.
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3
Place the onion in a food processor.
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4
Pulse the blade a few times until the onion is diced into crunchy bits.
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5
Remove the blade and scrape the onion bits into a small bowl.
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6
Return the food processor bowl to the machine.
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7
No need to wash it yet.
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8
Cut the potatoes lengthwise to fit in the food processor feed tube.
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9
Find the medium-coarse food processor shredding disk, which youve never used.
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10
Put it into the machine and turn it on.
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11
Begin feeding the potato slices into the machine.
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12
When the potatoes are shredded, put them in a colander over a large bowl.
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13
Dump in the onion bits and mix everything around with your hands, squeezing the potato moisture out as you work.
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14
Let the mixture drip for a few minutes while you put on a recording of Kitty Carlisle singing Beat Out That Rhythm on a Drum.
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15
Pour out the potato liquid from the bowl, but leave the starch that clings to the bowl.
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16
This is good for you.
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17
Dump in the shredded potato and onion mix.
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18
Add the eggs, the matzoh meal, the parsley, the salt, and the pepper.
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19
Stir the mixture eagerly.
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20
Then let it sit for about 10 minutes.
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21
In a large cast-iron skillet, pour in 1/4 inch of oil.
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22
Over high heat, get the oil very hot, but dont set off the smoke detector.
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23
Using a 1/4-cup measure or a long-handled serving spoon, start spooning the batter into the skillet.
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24
Flatten each with a metal spatula to a diameter of 4 to 5 inches.
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25
Do not try to make the latkes uniformly round.
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26
Reduce the heat to medium and cook the latkes until golden brown on one side.
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27
Then turn over and fry them some more.
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28
When crispy on the outside and moist inside, about 5 minutes per Side, remove and place on several thicknesses of paper towels.
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29
Keep doing this until you run out of batter.
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30
Remove from the room anyone who prefers latkes with sour cream.
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31
Serve the latkes immediately, with applesauce.