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Heres what you do:
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1.
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Take out your slow cooker.
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Plug it in.
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Trust me it is really annoying to realize an hour after you put this all together that the pot still isnt getting warm... not that thats ever happened to me!
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2.
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Make a few small shallow punctures in the roast, and push your garlic sticks into them.
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Season your roast with salt, pepper, and herbs (fresh or dried; you could use thyme, oregano, rosemary, even Herbs de Provence, or poultry seasoning).
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Dont be shy, theres a lot of meat there, and you want it to taste good!
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Make sure you give it a nice coating.
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In this order, stock your crock: first, the onions and celery.
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Next, place your roast inside your pot.
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Then squeeze as many of the potatoes and carrots around it as possible
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I always cut too many veggies.
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By putting the meat in first, you know exactly how much you can fit.
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Do the veg first, and youll probably have to take it all out and start over.
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Feel free to stuff it all in, as long as the cover fits on, youre good, as the roast and veggies will shrink as they cook.
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You can always drizzle the leftover veggies with some olive oil, then sprinkle with the same herbs youve seasoned your roast with.
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Just stick them in the oven about a half hour before dinner is served.
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(Of course, if you cut them as you need them, you probably wont have leftovers... wish I thought of that before now...)
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3.
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Next, pour your liquid of choice over the meat/veggies, cover, set it and... well, you know the rest.
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Depending on the heat you use, you will be rewarded with a savory, delicious roast in as little as 4 hours (I recommend however to allow it to cook as long and slow as you can afford.
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The longer it cooks, the more the proteins will break down, and all that lovely marbling will melt and flavor your veggies).
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4.
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Optional: Once everything is cooked, carefully remove your meat and veg to a serving platter.
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You may then choose to thicken your gravy.
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Simply pour the remaining liquid into a small saucepan, and bring to a boil.
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Stir together a slurry of water and cornstarch (2 parts to 1), and slowly add it to your boiling stock a little at a time until the mixture reaches your desired consistency.
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But remember, as it cools it will thicken further, so dont overdo it!
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5.
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Serve with some fresh rolls from your local bakery, or just as is.
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Pour a glass of wine and bask in the glow of your Betty Homemaker-esque accomplishment!
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Alternatives:
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For the record, I prefer the crockpot method for the following reasons: the veggies maintain their integrity without getting mushy, and the meat always comes out more tender.
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Slow cookers are really very dummy-proof, but if you dont have one, try this:
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Just rub the meat with a little olive oil (not virgin it will smoke) before you season it.
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Then place into an oven safe skillet or Dutch oven (one with a lid) over medium-high heat and brown on all sides.
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Saute your onions in the fat thats rendered from your roast, and pour in your liquid of choice.
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You will have to increase the total liquid to a cup or cup and a half (Id say stick to the 1/2 cup wine and make up the difference with stock), then return your roast and all the veggies to the pan, cover, and either simmer on the stove top (on low to medium-low heat) or place in a 325 degree oven for about 2 hours.
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Other Ideas:
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Add a small can of crushed tomatoes, and add fresh sliced fennel (bulb and fronds) for an Italian style pot roast.
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Cut your roast into bite size pieces, likewise with your veggies, and increase your total liquid to about 1 cup (for the slow cooker) for a delicious and hearty beef stew.
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You may want to add some tapioca starch in the beginning so your gravy will thicken while it cooks (check the manufacturers instructions for tips).
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Otherwise you can ladle out most of the liquid once cooking finishes, and thicken as above!
