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MAKE THE CRAB BALLS:
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In a medium saucepan, melt the butter.
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Add the onion and cook over moderately low heat until softened, about 4 minutes.
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In a small bowl, whisk 1 tablespoon of the cornstarch into the coconut milk until smooth.
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Add the coconut milk to the onion and cook over moderately high heat, whisking, until bubbling and thick, about 2 minutes.
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Remove from the heat and let cool to room temperature.
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Stir in the crabmeat and season with salt.
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Roll rounded tablespoons of the mixture into 20 small balls.
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Transfer the balls to a parchment-lined baking sheet, cover and freeze until firm, about 1 hour.
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In a large bowl, toss the panko with the sesame seeds.
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In another large bowl, whisk the egg whites with the remaining 1 tablespoon of cornstarch until smooth.
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Dip the frozen crab balls into the egg mixture, letting any excess drip off.
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Dredge the crab balls in the panko mixture to coat thoroughly.
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Return the balls to the baking sheet and let stand at room temperature until thawed but not too soft.
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MAKE THE GRAPEFRUIT SALAD:
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In a small saucepan, combine the sugar, lemon juice and ginger and bring to a boil over moderately high heat, stirring, until the sugar dissolves.
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Strain into a small bowl.
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Peel the grapefruits with a sharp knife, removing all of the bitter white pith.
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Cut in between the membranes to release the grapefruit sections.
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Transfer to a fine strainer set over a bowl and let stand for 15 minutes to drain as much as possible.
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Transfer the grapefruit sections to a medium bowl and gently toss with 3 tablespoons of the ginger syrup and the chile.
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Let stand for 5 minutes.
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In another small bowl, mix the remaining 1 tablespoon of ginger syrup with the soy sauce.
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In a medium saucepan, heat 1 1/2 inches of oil to 300F
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Set a rack over a baking sheet.
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Fry the crab balls, about 4 at a time, until golden brown, about 1 minute; transfer to the rack to drain while you fry the rest.
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Mound the grapefruit salad in shallow bowls or plates.
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Arrange the crab balls next to the grapefruit.
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Pour a puddle of soy syrup on the other side of the crab balls and serve at once.
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*WINE PAIRING:.
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The tart-spicy-sweet combination in these crab balls pairs nicely with a white that has a touch of sweetness, like an off-dry Riesling.
