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1
First, make the blackberry syrup.
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2
Get yourself a medium pot, add the blackberries, sugar, and water together, and stir while you bring it to a boil.
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3
Turn it down to a simmer, and let it cook until everything's become syrup; should take about half an hour. Make sure you press down on the berries once in a while; that'll help the berries break down faster and release the juices. Also it feels good to crush things. I recommend laughing manically while you do it.
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4
Once all that's become syrup, press it through a sieve to get all the chunks out, then put it in a jar and let it cool in the fridge while you make the fennel.
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5
Chop the fennel stalks on a bias (that means diagonally, people) into small slices.
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6
Preheat your oven to 250.
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7
Stir the sugar and water together in a small pan over medium-high heat until it's dissolved. Should take about 5 minutes.
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8
Next, add in the fennel, turn it down to medium, and cook for another 3 minutes. Take it off heat, let it sit for 15 minutes, then take the slices out of the syrup and put them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. You can save the leftover syrup for some fancy drinks or something.
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9
Bake the fennel for 30 minutes, stir them around a bit, then throw it in for 30 more minutes. When it's dry and sticky, you're golden.
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10
Let the fennel cool to room temperature, then coat the pieces with some more sugar.
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11
Turn up the oven to 300.
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12
Now the easy part: throw all the granola ingredients except for the fennel together in a big bowl and stir. It's almost insultingly easy.
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13
Spread the granola out in an even layer on a baking sheet lined with parchment. Cook it for 15 minutes, stir, 15 more minutes, stir again, and 15 more minutes, and hey, you guessed it: stir again.
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14
Once you've hit the 45 minute mark, stir in the fennel slices, then bake for 15 more minutes.
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15
Take the granola out, let it cool, then put it in your preferred granola-receptacle and smash the crap out of it with a wooden spoon so you have those nice granola-y sized pieces. Then eat.
